We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
