so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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