I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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