You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
