i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
