now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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