I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
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