I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
my liver is dry heaving
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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