Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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