Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just want nice things and good sex
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Randomize
