The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
