Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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