My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i think i just lost a toe
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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