fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
