Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
