It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
