I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize