i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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