You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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