Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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