hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
