Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
