No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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