you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
