i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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