She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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