he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
