He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
