you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
stop calling my apartment porn island.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
