Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
