grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Randomize
