Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
