They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
