My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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