Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
