at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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