I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize