addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
