I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
