its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
