he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
