Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
