you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
