capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
