Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
