I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
