I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
