but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
