I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
