I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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