i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
