this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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