Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
