very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
