so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
