Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
high people should be assigned attendants
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
