There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
