Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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