I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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