She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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