You're my little dorito
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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