I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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