My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
