I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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