holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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