im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
