All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
