I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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